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Happy 2 month birthday Reagan!  These are pictures taken over the past month.

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Some random pictures from birth to 1 month old.

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As you must suspect, I had Reagan.  She’s going to be two months on Saturday.  I have been procrastinating to write here first because I didn’t have enough time and second I knew I’d have to catch up.  The catching up part is what has kept me away for so long so I might not ever catch up on the past two months or maybe I will gradually.  I also have the dilemma of starting Reagan a new page or adding her in here.  She’s going to be what I talk about the most probably, but then there are few people I tell about this page for a reason.  Sounds like I’ll be starting Reagan a new blog, but then my blood pressure rises thinking about keeping up with two blogs when I haven’t even been keeping up with one!  I guess we’ll see how things go.  For now…

Welcome to the world Reagan Drew!

4lbs. 12 oz, March , 2011.  Mommy and Daddy love you Reagan!

38 Weeks Pregnant

Twelve days and counting until my due date!  I took this picture before coming to work this morning.  I hope I go into labor before I have time to post weeks 39 or 40.  I don’t even want to jinx myself and discuss week 41.

I started packing my hospital bag last night.  I washed all of my cloth diapers, inserts and wipes.  I made the solution for the wipe warmer.  I don’t know if you consider this nesting, but I’m trying to stay on my feet and vertical as much as possible. 

I have a doctor’s appointment today so we’ll see if I am dilated at all.  I don’t think so, but this is my first rodeo so what do I know.  Excited and anxious can’t begin to describe how slow time is passing by.

Praying for an easy labor and delivery and a healthy baby girl!

***Update 3/3–Doctor’s report from yesterday–70% effaced, 1-2cm dilated, baby’s head is down and my doctor thinks I will deliver in the next week or so.  I’m not holding my breath.  I don’t know if anyone really knows exactly when a baby will be born, but I’m ready in the next week when she decides she would like to make her grand entrance into the world!

Happy Valentine’s Day

I was reflecting on Valentine’s Day yesterday after looking at posts on Facebook.  Some were so excited about the dinner their significant other treated them to or flowers they were given, etc.  My thought has so often been — flower costs rise for the simple fact it is Valentine’s Day.  I would much rather my husband buy me flowers once or twice a year just for the heck of it than him go along with the crowd and send me flowers at the inflated price on February 14th which die.  I’m romantic like that!

I thought about how people have their significant others buy them massages and do something “special” for them on Valentine’s Day.  I realized how blessed I am.  My husband does all of these things throughout the year just because he loves me and not because it’s a specific date.  I don’t get flowers once a week, but who wants that?  My husband brings me flowers “for everything you do.”  My husband makes me dinner because well, he enjoys letting me sit back and relax while he cooks, serves me dinner and then will often even do the dishes after.  My husband gives me a massage because he knows I don’t like paying for the expensive massages.  Hubby spreads these things throughout the year and makes me feel special all of the time and not just because it’s February 14th.

Yesterday, Hubby and I both took off work to spend the day together per my request.  I had a coupon for IHop to buy 1 entree, get 1 free so we went to breakfast.  Next, we went to visit my friend TR in the hospital because she just had a baby.  Congrats TR!  We shopped for gliders for the baby’s room and video cameras, then rented a Redbox (free with promo code!), went home and relaxed and watched a movie.  To me, it was a perfect day.  My husband was attentive to what I wanted to do, I wasn’t fretting over spending a lot of money, I got to use my coupons and I spent the entire day relaxing and spending time with my husband. 

Everyone is different.  Not everyone gets a thrill out of using coupons like I do.  I honestly would be upset if my husband did go out and spent money on diamonds for me.  To each their own I suppose.

To Hubby, thank you for making me feel special all year long and not just sending me flowers once a year because it’s Valentine’s Day.  I love you!

I’m Not Perfect

I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I make mistakes. There. It’s out. I know you are all surprised to hear this and I am just as shocked to admit it. Ok, not really.

Here’s the rub. I pride myself in always being honest. For the most part I am quite proud of this attribute. The down side to this is I am also opinionated. This isn’t necessarily a good thing. The other thing I’m good at is expressing these feelings. Again, it’s therapeutic to not hold your emotions in, but when you combine honesty, my opinionated self and add a dash of me expressing myself it often becomes someone else’s feelings who get hurt.

In my defense, I don’t sit and ponder and conspire how I am going to hurt someone’s feelings. I feel strongly about some things. This gets me in trouble as well. My mouth has no filter when these things come out. Sometimes I make an example out of myself thinking if I’ve made it about me the person couldn’t be offended. Then it becomes a situation where, “what does this have to do with you?” Well, I really didn’t mean to make it about me I was trying to spare your feelings. What I’ve really done is just make it about me, I look selfish and my point was never made. Now there is a whole other issue of saying something I didn’t really mean at all and I’m left to be the big mouth when what I really meant wasn’t portrayed at all—which is my fault. I need a filter on my mouth. One where the words process in my brain before they are spoken or in some cases written.

 Everyone sees and hears things differently. I’m not a complex person. What you see is what you get. What I say isn’t meant to be interpreted or looked into with ulterior motives. If I say it is pink I wholeheartedly think it’s pink. Not a shade or hue of red. I most likely didn’t consider how pink was made–it is what it is, in my mind—pink.

If I’ve hurt someone the aftermath leaves me broken, self defeated and in tears. I am my own worst critic. I beat myself up more than YOU ever could. I harbor guilt and anger like it’s nobody’s business. All of my feelings collide, I can’t think straight and I can’t tell you for the life of me what is heads or tails. I try to sort it all out in my head, but everything is jumbled and not one thought is clear.

Deciding at this point if an apology is necessary is difficult. Do I let it go? Do I apologize and try to explain, or am I going to make it worse? Do I drag it all out again or let it die? Clearly, every situation is different, but I have a hard time making a judgment call here

I don’t have a remedy for this last process so preventing it from the beginning is my best solution. The bright side? I’m still learning. Observing. Making myself better. Acknowledging these traits I don’t like can only make me better–for me and my new baby girl.

If you have been directly impacted by the above unfiltered mouth syndrome described above please know that I am truly sorry.

Stepdaughter turned 11 yesterday. It’s our weekend so we’re having her a birthday party tomorrow evening. Stepdaughter requested several months back we have a separate birthday party at our house for family and a few friends. Works for me. Baby mama wants us to still pay for half of a birthday party she wants to throw for stepdaughter at a hotel with an indoor pool. I’m still not sure what her reasoning is behind this. We’re having her a party. I don’t know why we would want to pay for half of a second party. This is the same woman who requested extra money for back to school items such as underwear, bras and socks. Lady, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I know what child support is supposed to be used for. If you don’t use it for your daughter A) That’s sad and B) You being irresponsible with money doesn’t make me want to give you more money.

Stepdaughter has texting on her Ipod Touch so I text with her frequently now. She had three snow days this week if this is any indication of my definition of “frequent!” In one text she asked what the menu was going to be for her party. I told her we were going to get pizzas, breadsticks and sauce. I text back to say if this isn’t ok to let me know, but Hubby had told me he cleared this with her. She text back saying, “Sounds good with some apitizers like fruit and if u can I would love some chocolate covered strawberries.” My response, “Chocolate covered strawberries is your dad’s specialty. I’ll talk to him about that.”

Really? My stepdaughter wants fruit for “apitizers.” Funny. I had a fruit tray for New Year’s so I assume this is where the idea came from. I didn’t know 11 year old birthday parties required appetizers, but whatever. The chocolate covered strawberries I am still baffled over though. Where did that come from?

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